Post by jess nathalie littekin on Sept 20, 2010 8:19:59 GMT -8
WASHINGTON WELCOMES THE AMAZING CITIZEN
jessalyn nathalie littekin .
NAME ,
NICKNAMES ,
AGE & BIRTHDATE ,
RELATIONSHIP STATUS ,
HOMETOWN ,
SCHOOL HISTORY ,
PARENTS & SIBLINGS ,
I'D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE TO WASHINGTON ,
WHAT'S THAT FAMILY OF YOURS LIKE ,
WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR GOALS ,
WHAT'S ONE THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGET ,
HOW ABOUT YOUR FEARS, ANYTHING THAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT ,
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE ,
WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ,
NOW, WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT NOBODY KNOW ABOUT YOU ,
I GO BY , jill
I AM , one & an eight
I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOR , too long
YOU CAN CONTACT ME AT , pm, msn, whatevs
MY FACE CLAIM IS , rosie h-w!
MY CHARACTER IS A , tourist
THIS IS WHAT I CAN DO ,
As soon as we turn the corner, I know. I hadn’t really been expecting it, but it’s recognizable all the same, the park lights illuminating the lush fields and plastic confections of childhood, the slides, swings, and tunnels gleaming in the distance as our pace quickened and our minds raced at the memories. This was our beginning, our everything…when we knew there was so much more than a relationship between us. I can still remember the way my heartbeat skipped as I waited for him to follow, the anticipation, the return…it was our place, and we had returned once again. Now broken souls with the search for a new beginning., or something to get us on the right path again. We try to keep pace with one another on the swings, rock climb the outer walls and spin each other on the tire swing, and all the while the brilliant top of the slide still looms in the distance. We get there, eventually, wary from previous activities and the night hour, but as I climb up the stairs the sentimental feelings begin again and it suddenly hurts that I can’t really tell him I love him because I know it’ll just confuse us more. We rested on a precarious balance, and there was only so much I could do for it not to tip in the wrong way and ruin the rest of ourselves.
His fingers run cautiously over the initials we carved into the top plastic cover, worn from weather and new additions, but it’s still there, and as our eyes meet I realize so are we. We kiss slowly, wrapped up in each other and the moment and I can’t help but feel my heart burst and continue to put back the pieces we’d denied ourselves for so long. It was time for change, for growing up and getting things together, and I’d promised myself a long time ago that he’d be a part of my past that transcended the present and future…and I wasn’t going to give that up. ”Do you remember…” I finally murmur, catching myself on the edges and pulling myself down and around the slide, heart racing all the while. Like what had happened was happening now, like we had been able to rewind a few years just because we deserved it. If I could, there was so much I would have done different. But for now, as my feet touch down against the pebbles and I cross my fingers behind my back, I know this is the present and that it is all that can matter.
He races down seconds later and I’m in his arms and our eyes are inches away and I’m caught in a depthless navy as he whispers the words that make me smile. ”How could I forget? And our lips touch, barely brushing against one another, but the kiss holds more meaning than I’ll ever be able to explain. My hand quickly falls into my pocket, a familiar thread wrapping around my finger as I pulled and the bracelet came into view. I remembered the day I gave it to him, how nervous and anxious I had been, how much of a piece it was of me….and I felt the same way again, offering it as some sort of hope. That we could be friends, that we’d stay close, that we had a change again? I wasn’t really sure, just holding out my open palm to him and absentmindedly tracing the letters so faded I could barely even read them. I ask if he’ll take it back and I feel like I’m visibly trembling with anticipation and nerves, but when he smiles and ties it across his wrist and says he’d love to have it back, I feel like we just said I Love You all over again. Just in another way, another time, another future…
We wander easily back to the house.
No sooner is the door closed and his lips are on me, against me, pressing everywhere until I can’t discern what’s reality and what just feels good. We fall back into his room, pulling off clothing and muffling the noise and when our eyes find each other in the pooling moonlight I trace the words I love you on his back, never knowing if he figured it out or not as his lips pressed against my cheek and I pressed forward in consuming need. We make love to remember, to forget, to live…our own moment in time where nothing needs to exist but the feeling and the impulse, the emotion and the desires. His hand flits along the small of my back and I press my fingernails into his shoulders, lips pulsing firmly against his because I didn’t know the next time I’d be able to be with him. It was always up in the air it seemed…but it’s ours tonight, and when the sunlight bathes the room in a rosy glow I’m flush against him and everything stands still again.
I dream of our wedding, of white verandas and tropical vibrant flowers and temperamental flower girls….of our families excited beyond words that this was finally, finally happening….or last minute dining menu changes and seating arrangements and plans just in case it rains. It all seems so realistic, from the feel of the lipstick against my skin to the nerves before I turn the corner to the elation of realizing he was still there, waiting for me…the way I got to say I love you and know he was mine for the rest of my life. The ceremony ends and we take off down the beach, heeding no mind to the pricey outfits and guests waiting for congratulations and children ready to leave. The sun is blazing and when I look up, I know that I’m lucky I’m being watched over today by the members of my family…all of them.
Waking up, and I’m disheartened. It had all seemed like it had been happening…but I’m still eighteen and we’ve still got time and I don’t even know if that’s still part of the plan. Or if we really have a plan anymore at all. My hand absentmindedly runs down the pillow across from me, and I can’t help but sigh with relief as his arm still runs across my waist, the familiar cadence of breath shivering down my neck…it’s exactly as I remember, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face until everything becomes hazy again and I’m lost to down comforters and warmth. When I resurface he’s gone, but the familiar smell of breakfast wanders in from the kitchen and I realize I’m starving, wrapping myself in the tossed comforter and stepping out in to the grand room. He isn’t surprised, just greets me with open arms and a full plate, fingers delving into the fabric until I’m dodging away just to be able to get some food in me. We hold hands over the clear glass table and map out the rest of the day, taking the dogs on a walk soon after and soaking up the California sun. We may not be together, or anything near that, but I love him…. forever and always, whenever he needs me to, all the time. And as long as I loved him I’d do anything I could to make it work itself out. Gone was the manipulation and self-loathing and guilt trips; in their place came dual decisions and equality and what should have happened a long time ago. I thumbed absently over the spot where my ring was missing, another one of the countless mistakes I made, and that same moment I made a vow to get it back as we headed back for home, hand laced with hand. Someday, some way, somehow…
He told me he murmured it back.[/sup]
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application made by liz for hot as a fever and it was inspired by anna & erin.
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