your surrender ..

[bristol alexandar.]

briar applied her eyeshadow with a steady hand, appearing to be rather intent on what she was doing, but on the inside wanting to kill herself. she hated putting on an act and that's exactly what she was going to have to do tonight. tonight she had to pretend like her mother, cristian, her brother and herself were some big happy fucking family, smile wide and put up with his parents heavily accent-laced broken english. she'd been forced to pull out of a party that was guaranteed to be talked about for the next decade and a rather promising date who was looking rather able to make up for what cooper had done to her. but no. she was pretending to be the perfect daughter tonight, the alternate universe briar who didn't lose her temper and constantly criticize the sack of shit her mother now called her husband, she had to pretend the circumstances of her parents divorce didn't affect her at all, like she didn't hurt everyday she went without talking to her father even though she had sworn to hate him forever since this was his fault. that was really the biggest thing for her, that he'd caused this, that he'd betrayed them and cheated not only on her mother, but blaine and herself. with what happened with cooper so recently she felt it even heaver now, but despite all that? she still wanted to drag herself back to the dreary town of hollow creek that her father called home once again, the town she'd spent a lot of her childhood in seeing her grandpa charlie and dancing with her grandma rose, it was always a wonderful vacation from the heat of los angeles. her parents had always seemed more at ease when they rested in the sprawling house her grandfather owned, more relaxed as they walked the beach hand in hand with briar and blaine tripping over themselves in some retarded game they'd though up ignoring the other children because they were the snobby twins who at that point wanted nothing to with anyone but each other. her heart ached for that time too, when blaine was her best friend and he so completely made up her world. the move to new york and the way she thought he always wanted to defend their father in the divorce putting a strain on the relationship. it hadn't gotten better as she'd started to break away, letting the social side of her show more, falling into this crowd and that, her charm and sometimes reckless behaviour winning her points and propelling her up social ladders that shouldn't have existed so young, but that was how it worked on the upper east side. you were learning the hierarchy when you were in kindergarten, it was much different from los angeles.

it made her miss her desert, the hot beaches, burning her feet on the sand and watching the car lights as she sat in her room at night. though once she'd gotten old enough and parties and clubs began to take her young mind she didn't care about the burn of sand, it was the pinch of heels, the uncomfortableness of a push up bra and a hot senior trying to push his hand up your uniforms skirt. briar sighed, leaning away from the mirror now, satisfied her make up was tasteful but almost too heavy, she wasn't going to abide strictly by her mothers demands. she didn't want to do this, she'd pitched a fit when her mother had brought it up and not just cus it had interfered with her plans but because she honestly hated cristian and the pretense of a perfect family. he couldn't handle his temper so often exploding with hers, they'd pulled all out screaming matches over her curfew, or getting a C on a test because she'd spent the weekend before at a friends house, he wasn't fond of the way she liked to disappear, taking up residence at her friends house to get away from him and her mothers epic shouting matches as well. she didn't know why her mom put up with it, it wouldn't be long before his yelling turned into something more. briar could see the way his fists shook as her mom yelled at him, how often he'd tried to raise a hand at briar, like the other night when she'd come home drunk and blaine was clumsily trying to support her weight as she giggled and recounted the rager he'd missed out on. cristian had started in on her as soon as he caught sight of her, "what will people think of your mother an i? that we're lousy parents." some bullshit thing that was basically all about him, not the concern for her safety, but how it made him look, and she'd listened to it for a moment, blaine at her side lowly warning her not to lose her temper, it didn't take much to set it off, especially when she was intoxicated, it took two seconds for blaine's reminders to fail and she'd plainly told cristian, "fuck off, you're not my father." his fists clenched tighter and she saw his arm begin to raise before he pushed a breath through his lips and without thinking briar had taken a half step forward, daring him to hit her, to give her a reason to really lose her mind on him, but he'd walked away then, "i can't deal with her!" he'd yelled not even two inches from her mother's face and she'd tried to step to him again, blaine holding her back and her mother waved them away, a weary look on her face, "i'll talk to him, get her in bed." she said to blaine, disgust taking her tone as she looked over briar.

personally, she thought they should just get used to it, she was plenty old enough to make her own decisions, do whatever the fuck she wanted. things had been tenser since that evening, especially since she'd come home in the same state the next night, simply to show what she thought of cristian's attempt to try and control her. she felt bad that taking care of her sloppy drunk self always fell to blaine. she heard a knock on her door now, and she almost went to turn her music up louder to ignore it, but she knew it was blaine - freak twin mind powers at work. she stood and wrapped a robe around, pulling it tight and going to the door, "what's up?" she asked, leaning against her doorway, "mom says you need to hurry up, they'll be here soon." he told her before he gave her a critical look, and stared past her and to her bed, "really b?" he pushed past her and reached for the small bottle of vodka that rested in the covers on a pile of clothes she'd tested for the night before her mother had handed her a nice blouse and insisted she wear that with a pair of black jeans, she shrugged, "you expect me to get through this night without getting a little tipsy. i've only had a sip really." he gave her a skeptical look, their sips varied, she sighed and rolled her eyes, "honestly, a normal sip and only one. wait, what are you doing?" she reached for his arm as he took the bottle and headed towards the direction of the bathroom attached to her room, "don't you dare." he looked at her, "you don't need it, you've been getting in enough trouble because of this anyways." he told her as he unscrewed the cap and poured the clear liquid into her sink, "you can leave now." she said curtly, shaking her head as he dropped the empty bottle into the waste bin. only her brother. she watched him exit her room and she knew she had at least one other bottle stashed in there somewhere, but he didn't have a point, they'd get wine at dinner, that should be enough to mellow her out, not that he mom would let her drink enough to get a buzz since it'd probably take the whole bottle. wouldn't want the in-laws to think they were raising up a little alcoholic. briar found her tolerance for alcohol quite handy, but it was dangerous, there had been more then one time her friends worried about taking her to the hospital, when she drank enough to get drunk, actually drunk.... that was a problem. with a sigh the brunette pulled her loose waves up in a bun, so she could get dressed, she put the white button down on, not entirely displeased with it, but still feeling rather matronly in it, it was classy and chic, but not her style. she slipped into her heels about the time she heard the doors to their apartment open. spanish filling the air as cristian chattered away to his parents, she pulled the chopstick from her bun and exited her room, smiling through introductions, complimenting his mother's necklace and staying silent until they were called to dinner. there she had food to keep her mouth busy, she let the conversation swell around her, speaking only when she had to. usually at the request of her brother.

shit was getting deep and sappy now, cristian spoke of his love for her mother, how well they went, how wonderful the "last seven years had been". briar looked up now, no, that didn't figure. her parents had been split up for six, she looked at her mother who held a slightly nervous look on her face as her eyes darted between blaine and briar, "what did you say?" briar demanded, of cristian talking over the gushing from his mother who looked at her thoroughly affronted briar had the gall to interrupt her, briar pushed back from the table, glaring at her mother, "you lied to us!" she said her voice raising as so many pieces clicked, her temper quickly spiraling out of control, irrationality taking her fully, she felt blaine tugging on her arm, "dad didn't cheat or run out on us, it was you! you cheated on dad and then you tried to act like some kind of fucking victim when really you're some cheap whore who couldn't ke-" cristian's hand slammed on the table the table then, making every one jump and he turned a deadly glare on her. "i've had about enough of you. how dare you disrespect your mother in my home." briar scoffed, "the fuck it is, my mother pays for this place, actually." she shook her head, "like you're any better, you knew she was married!" her mothers voice broke the air now, "briar leigh-anne!" she said, "i don't like your tone, sit down." briar gave a bitter laugh, "yeah? i don't like you lying to us either." she quipped, and saw cristian's mother stand, "we should go." the aged woman said in a way that wasn't a friendly suggestion, but held a finality in it. apologies started and rebecca looked at the twins, her gaze falling on blaine, "take care of her." she said in a way that didn't do much to improve briars mood. she turned on blaine as the rest of the party exited the living room, "can you believe her!?" she demanded of him, ignoring his calls for her to calm down and be quite, he stood now the height difference between them growing more pronounced each day, and he rested his hands on her shoulder, "seriously, you need to chill out. breath." and she couldn't help it, she felt her shoulders slump but her stomach still boiled, this was so fucked up. "come on." he said holding her arm and leading her out of the living room, to the sliding doors that opened on to a small veranda, it wasn't a moment longer that she heard cristians angry yells and her mothers pleading to calm down, despite her better judgment she twisted from blaine's grasp and met her step-father a few steps inside, "you're embarrassed? you should be, you're a pig!" she yelled back at him, struggling against blaine's grasp, her mother stepped forward now and grabbed cristian's arm, and he ripped it from her sending her mother stumbling back, she pulled harder against blaine's grasp now, "let go of me!" she yelled at him, "you can't treat my mother like that!" she then shouted at cristian, blaine got in front of her now trying to push her back, words still flying from her mouth, what she said not really hitting her, just anger and betrayal spewing forward and suddenly blaine was no longer in front of her, cristian shoved him to the side, so he tumbled back out of the sliding glass door and his hand was raised, intending to hit briar, she stumbled back now because this wasn't going to be him retreating like he had the other night, she tripped a little in the heels she hated wearing and the blow landed, pushing her farther out on to the veranda, her head immediately exploded in pain her cheek burning in a way she'd never felt pain before, there was a lot of rage, but it was nothing to the stinging in her back, she'd realized now that what she thought was just the concrete of the veranda had been a pot, she could feel the sting in her hands and back and it took no time for the warm pooling of blood to blossom across her skin, she held a cut hand up, blood dripping on to her pants and cristian froze in that moment, stepping back now as blaine moved towards briar, she could feel her stomach twisting, for such an incurable klutz and hurting herself so often she had a thing about blood, she felt blaine pull her up a little and heard an almost gasp from him, she couldn't see the scarlet spreading over the back of her white blouse, or see the ravaged skin from the shattered pot but she could feel it.

then her mother was in her face, concern and shining eyes, and for a second she thought maybe she was actually kind of worried about briar, that she wasn't just thinking about cristian, "we're taking you to the emergency room," a somewhat regular occurence anyways, she pulled briar forward a little, to see the damage on her back, and she looked at briar now, holding her shoulders, "you fell. you understand? when they ask you what happened you fell." briar literally retracted from her mother, like the words were another blow to her face, and she was in shock as blaine and her mother helped raise her from the ground, holding her bleeding hand above her head. this had to be the fucking twilight zone.

as usual the ER didn't question what happened really, they all had a laugh, the nurses were used to seeing one of the twins in there, generally their mother worried to much and nothing was wrong, but sometimes stitches were required, a brace for an ankle or wrist, nothing major. this had required a lot of stitches, she let the tears flow freely as she refused to hold her mothers hand and latched on to blaine's and she wasn't sure if it was the shock of cristian hitting her, the pain in her back or the words her mother had spoken to her. "you fell." once they'd gotten home, cristian was locked in his room, briar avoided the gaze of her mother and brother, grabbing some ice for her swollen cheek and headed to her room, locking the door. she looked around the place, tears swelling in her eyes again and her stomach churned. she had to leave. she had to. it was hard to finagle buying a plane ticket with her credit card, "my mom wanted me to buy it for her last minute, she forgot." the agent on the other line falling for it. she looked at her watch, four hours until the six o' clock flight left. she threw her warmest clothes in a small suitcase and checking the halls, she ducked out of her room, and once she hit the elevator she called for a cab. she couldn't stay here anymore, she had to be with her dad. the dad she'd avoided talking to for the past six years because of her mother lies, she hoped he still loved her enough to not turn her away when she showed up on his doorstep later this morning.