. / broken glass ---

[amalia vitale]

I'm excited. no, correction, i am beyond excited. i've gotten away with lying to my dad, i've placed first on floor and the bars today and i'm going to my first real high school party though i am hardly an average high school freshman. i'm one of the many home schoolers, but i'm in a smaller group of home schooled kids training for the olympics and having an actual shot at it. of course a lot of that is just my coach wanting to keep my parents business, but the amount of trophies and medals i have and having the highest d.o.d in the gym - minus most of the girls who are a couple years older then me - says that he is telling the truth. none of that is important to me now, right now i am being reckless, breaking gym rules, my parents rules, it's going to be a good night. i can feel it in my bones. the excitement is churning in my stomach as i laugh and joke with serenity, i squeal as she almost burns my shoulder wrapping a long ebony strand of my hair around the gold barrel of her curling iron. she's already half way drunk. she is supposed to be our chaperone of sorts, she was the one who decided to take callie, jessica and myself to the party with her. though later - now that i am helping her put on her make-up because she can barely walk straight let alone trace the outline of her lips - i'm pretty sure that plan is shot to hell, but i'm still high off getting away with telling a lie to my dad, the excitement of finally getting away with going to a real party and all the other emotions of the day didn't make me worried. it just made me feel normal, like this should have been friday nights. getting ready to go out, curling my hair, putting on make up, gossiping like serenity and her friend about who was going to be there and how they were going to have to kick some ass if stephanie tried to touch jake one more time. i'm practically bouncing as we head out to the car and serenity, frowns at me and unbuttons the top two buttons on my shirt. vodka and peppermint fan my face as she laughs, "loosen up, lilah." apparently my shock translated to my face, i'm glad it's dark enough i can hide my blush and i return her laugh before i glance down at my shirt, i don't have much to show off, so honestly what could it hurt? looking over at serenity and her friend and examining the clothes they weren't wearing i'm positive no one is going to be paying me much attention anyways. which didn't bother me, i may have been breaking a lot of rules tonight but the "no boys" one wasn't one i was honestly to concerned with ignoring tonight. most of the girls though it was annoying, and so did i, but i'm still too much one of the guys to be concerned about it, i guess. not that jayden didn't have a couple of cute soccer friends i wouldn't mind thinking about bending the rules for. my stomach does another flip but it's the weird one it does lately when i think of jayden and dating in the same sentence. it's a weird habit i'm trying to banish as quickly as it seemed to com about, for the most part it's listening, but it acted up again when he hugged me before we parted ways after my meet. callie shakes me, "earth to delilah..." we dissolve into conversation and giggles and my mind is a million miles away from the events that preceded this moment. i'm being a girly girl, which only bothers me a little as i giggle and blush and just be a normal fourteen year old. not one that is going to be in the olympics, or spends her whole day in a gym, but a normal fourteen year old that worries about her hair and make up, that gets insanely giddy as i step out onto the sidewalk and i can feel the bass of the music.

callie grabs my hand and pulls me up the front walk following closely behind serenity who opens up the door looks back at jessica, callie and me and cays, "have fun, don't get lost." she flips her hair, puts on a flirty smile and dissolves into the crowd. jessica recognizes an older boy that lives a couple houses down from her and she shoots me and callie an apologetic look before she makes her way over to him. callie, jumps up and down a little and for a second i'm embarrassed, "just make it obvious we've never done this before." i think rolling my eyes a little, "come on, crack head." i say tugging at her hand, squeezing through people and trying not to look too disgusted as we pass a couple practically dry humping. almost immediately a drink is shoved in my hand and i'm not even sure by who, i look into the red plastic cup and it's clear and for a minute i think it's water until i look over to see callie sputtering, her face bright red, "holy shit, that's not water." i join in on everyone's laughter, i feel a little bad, but she hardly seems embarrassed, "nice one, dumbass." i tease, nudging her with my elbow, she grins and looks sheepishly up at brunette who takes the cup from her hands and grins lazily at her, "why don't i get something less strong for you, have my beer." he tells her as he switches their cups and i know immediately i'm going to be on my own, callie was well on her way of falling into serenity's footsteps nicely, she was one of the girls who most definitely had serious beef with our 'no dating' rule. she gives me jessica's same smile, but she pulls me into a hug, "havefun." she says, kissing my cheek and taking the buy's hand and following him out through the back door, where i can hear kids splashing in a pool. suddenly my prospects for this party plummet, i'm all by myself - despite the fifty or so people crammed in this kitchen that could barely hold thirty. i can handle being ditched by the girls if i knew anyone else... i sigh, crossing my arms over my stomach careful of the full cup i still have in my hand, being jostled by a couple people and nearly spilling the drink i decide it's safer where there is a little more room but as i make my way through the rooms i can't find any place less crowded. i'm about to give up as i stumble into a game room that's housing a game room. that looks like fun to me and i'm about to set my cup down and head off to figure out how to play and if i can play when a hand snakes around my waist, fear boils in my stomach for a split second. "hey, you." the guy's breath is heavy with alcohol and i try to pull away, i know i could've kneed him easily and gotten him to leave me alone in two seconds flat but i try to keep my violence to a minimum - unless it's jayden or dominic - and i don't really want anymore attention drawn to myself then necessary. "let go of me, seriously." i say hitting his chest, with more force then he expects, he blinks, confused and i should have taken the moment to pull back but he tightens his grip, "ooh, i like them feisty." it disgusts me and i roll my eyes, i open my mouth to speak again but i feel another hand on my shoulder this one pulls me back as another hands comes out of nowhere and shoves the other guy into the wall, my full cup falls to the floor, a girl squeals as it slashes the hem of her dress but other then that people are oblivious to the interaction. "are you deaf, man, she said to back off."

it's my turn to be confused.

i look up at my savior, as it were, and recognize him from the gym- toby, my coaches son and while i should be worried he's going to tell his dad what happened i let out a sigh of relief, "thanks," not even thinking twice as i let him lead me from the room, one arm draped over my shoulders, "no problem." he says with a shrug, "he's like twenty anyways, i have no clue why he stills hangs out around here." i laugh, shaking my head, "some people are always trying to relive their glory days." he grins down at me, "if that's ever me, please shoot me?" he jokes and i nod, promising him i will. we head back to the crowded kitchen where he hands me another cup, pointing out that mine had spilt and because i feel obligated and i don't want to look like a child; i smile, thank him, and down that shit like a champ. quick and semi-painless. he laughs and suggests i take it in two or three increments next time. he fills up my cup again. i hate whatever it is i'm having but i like his attention and i know i'm being just as stupid as callie and jessica, but i like his smiles and hearing him talk. even when he's teasing me about being out past gym curfew, then he taps his nose and leans towards me, his lips at my ear, "promise i won't tell." the alcohol - i've lost track of my drinks and i know i'm an idiot for letting him fill me up with all of these drinks, especially since i'm not sure how much he has been drinking - makes me silly and giggly and i blush. i toss back the remnants of my cup again, laughing as i beat him and i wonder what the whole big deal about drinking is, i feel just fine, things are a little funnier and i'm not dropkicking toby as he rests his hand on my knee and i let it go past my knee a little further as leans in to whisper in my ear again, but mostly i'm normal. then he asks me to dance and when i try to stand, i sway and stumble and i burst out laughing and he joins me as he pulls me into his arms, "careful, there." he says leading me into the living room where mostly everybody is dancing. serentity is in a corner in her boyfriends lap eating his face, i don't see callie but jessica is still talking to neighbor boy, looking fifty times less drunk then myself and i feel stupid. for a second.

only for a second.

because then toby twirls me, pulls my back into his chest and he rests a hand on my hip, another on my stomach and my mind is thoroughly focused on the feel of his breath against my neck.

he steps back briefly and turns me to face him, this time the action hits my stomach and i feel really sick. i put a hand against his chest, pushing him away and i barely get out the word bathroom before he understands and frowns, he leads me outside because it's closest and i nearly toss in the bushes but the cold hair and the light rain fan against my face and freezes the sick in my stomach. "i found it's kryptonite," i remark with a light chuckle as he pulls my hair away from my face and looks down at me concerned, "i'll get you water, hold on." the cool air takes away some of my drunkenness and my stupid feeling comes back and now all i want to do is go back home. i rub my eyes heedless of the heavy glitter make up and i rub my arms before i set down the front walk way, "whitlock!" i hear toby call and i stumble a little turning around, "what the hell are you doing? get your ass back here." he sounds exactly his father now and for a second i'm worried that my coach has caught me even though i'm staring at toby. "i'm going home." i whine, turning around again, "don't be stupid i'll drive you." he yells back and i laugh, "you don't be stupid, you've been drinking!" i yell back at him and continue walking, he yells at me again but i've ignored him, i'm more focused on making it home without breaking my ankle on these stupid heels. if i knew how to get to jayden or dominic's from where i was i'd call them and let them know i was coming and i needed a place to crash. no doubt i'd never live it down with either of them but it was better then staying her, turning into a big drunker idiot and being deflowered in an upstairs bedroom. i'm still drunk enough to think walking home is a good idea, instead of trying to call a cab to take me to jayden or dominic's house since i do still know their address. i make it a couple blocks and the housing track begins to fade into stores, i'm really close to home know and with every step my stupid shoes punch tighter at my feet, finally i kick them off, one landing just off the sidewalk and the other on the front step of the beauty supply. i groan and i briefly considering leaving both before i go retrieve them. stepping on to the wet road i pick up my shoe and i turn back around towards the beauty supply when i realize if i cross the street here and go between the deli and the cafe i'll get home five minutes faster to my aching feet, poor balance and swirling something that seems like fifty miles closer.

it's so worth it.

i step back down on to the road, carefully squeezing between the parked mini van and the suburban because i'm too lazy and my feet hurt too much to walk the ten feet to the stop light. i barely make it past the van when i hear tires squealing and a horn blaring. i freeze in my tracks and thank god that the light was red and the car was already slowing because i look down and i see the bumper less then three inches from my knee, my heart is still racing and i jump when whoever honks the horn at me again, i step back between the van and the svu and as the car pulls away i hear a mans voice yelling out the window at me, "what the fuck is your problem?" i lean against the hood of the van trying to catch my breath and let my heart slow down glad that the adrenaline is helping burn off some of the alcohol, my head is still fuzzy and as i look up at the back window of the suv i laugh harder then i normally would of at a little cartoon dude pissing on jeff gordon's number, by the time the amusement wears off i've forgotten why i'm just standing here between the parked cars. my short cut insight hits me again and i let another giggle fall as i glance back at the window of the suv, if i remember that in the morning i'm going to feel like a total dumb ass. i neglect too look as i step out from between the cars because it's past midnight, who the hell is going to be up at this time of night? i'm smoothing the tight black skirt as i reach the middle line and this time when i hear tires squealing there are no lights to accompany them, there is no time to even freeze before i'm hit. i'm still in shock as i lay on the pavement, my side feels like it's on fire and i can feel blood seeping through the thin fabric of my shirt, though it all feels like a pinch compared to the pain in my leg. i hear a long string of profanities, then a hand forcefully pushes between my shoulder blades, "stay down." says the voice that was cussing, "bu-" i close my mouth as he tells me to be quite and i'm pretty sure if i speak it will end in a scream because the adrenaline is rubbing off and the pain is worse then it was. i squeeze my eyes shut, trying to focus on my breathing and listen to the man's words as he talks to me and someone i can't see, which i assume means he's called the police. he's started a commotion and i hear the beauty shop bell jingle, the women rents out the apartment above to my brothers ex girlfriend and i hear her questioning what happened before, she gasps and i can hear her feet pick up pace across the pavement. she is down in my face and i can see the tears in her eyes, "i'm calling sam, baby, it's going to be okay." she strokes my cheek and i try not to flinch as it stings, and she's gone and i can hear another car pull up, honk, then stop as they tried to go around and see me laying there.

i close my eyes again, pushing a strained breath through my teeth when my brother's ex returns and gently lays a hand on my shoulder, "you're going to be fine." she chokes, i can see in her eyes though she can't get a hold of sam and she's freaking out. even though i realize i've just been hit by a car i'm still not sure what the fuss is about, i kinf of want to cut my leg off but other then that i feel fine. i can feel the blood on my face and across my side from my arm, but it doesn't seem too serious. i close my eyes again as the man who was on the phone kneels down and puts his hand on my leg, "it's broken." i hear the sirens, car doors and more feet rushing towards me and i bite down on my lip as the try to move me and i block out stella's pleading to be allowed to come in the ambulance, "i know the family, i know the family." she keeps repeating even though they are trying to find out my name from her, "delilah..." i mange through clinched teeth, but the emt above me tells me to be quite and puts something over my face and i'm loaded into the back of the ambulance.

all of a sudden there is a flurry of activity above me and i realize i completely missed the ride to the hospital, there is a lot of yelling and i recognize one of my doctors from the gym shouting my name, i see his face over mine for a second and i hear someway say i'll be fine soon but then there is stinging in my arm and i don't see anything else.