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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Mar 21, 2011 9:52:38 GMT -8
 ---Na'ima stared out the wet window, the rain sliding down the pane in a most too familiar way, she let a breath push through her full lips, fogging the window before her slender fingers drew a spiral on the fading condensation. she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, biting almost too hard on it as she tried to calm her thoughts, she'd done a great deal of avoiding her fiancé the past.. well, too long. not as hard as you'd think, even though they lived together. there was an upside to dating an in demand model, and still being so fresh off the runway yourself and possibly too nice that you'd let yourself get brow beat into coming back for a show here or there for one of your closer friends. she'd been in new york for a few days the week before, catalog work for a designer that had really helped her career, the mother of the girl who'd made her wedding dress that... she honestly didn't know if she'd even need now. why? it was a depressing story. or it could be. she didn't know, she hadn't bothered to try and unravel these knots in the plotline yet. she'd let herself ignore gabriel coming home the next morning from a dinner with his first love, even though the girl had told her only... twelve or so hours before that he'd admitted to her that he was still sort of in love with her. she'd ignored that he'd looked much to dishelved for a fitful night sleep on the coach, that behind his hang over was guilt, she ignored the bit of lipstick that stained his lips, ignored the perfume, ignored everything. she was the girl she never swore she'd be, basically. it made her sick. he didn't overtly lie to her and she had never asked him straight out if he'd slept with jess.
---Nai honestly wouldn't have been abe to bear the answer. she knew he did. he knew that she knew he did, but they were both content in trying to ignore it. he'd keep up the sin of omission and she'd never outright question him. well, she had been resolved to never as him outright but the rumours... fuck, the rumours that were falling down to her, their friends that were giving them those knowing glances as she accompanied him to this party or that, smiling and sipping her champagne when she was meant to, showing off her ring a thousand times over because people still loved seeing it. then there was always the sinking feeling when someone asked if they'd reset the date, "no, no, not quite yet, he's so busy you know?" or "well, i'm thinking about going back to school, maybe the summer? it's a little up in the air." she'd try to plaster a smile on her face as her friends questioned if things were alright between them, "of course they are! never better! what a silly question." it was getting too much though, the mini fight they'd gotten into via text the other night being the last straw, his drunken... douchebaggery finally breaking the proverbial camels back. na'ima let her eyes trail down to the ring on her finger, spinning it around a pale finger, her stomach matching it's motion as her eyes stung.
---She jumped a little as she heard the door knob jiggle behind her, but she didn't move from the couch, she continued watching the rain dance down the window, serpentine in spots. nai heard him step through the door, dropping his keys in the bowl, his messenger bag next. she drew her hand through her hair now, pulling her knees tighter to herself. more steps, and his cologne hit her nose, something that normally brought a smile to her face. his lips were warm against her cheek, his fingers resting lightly on her shoulders as he put another on the other side, "babe" she said nothing, continued staring forward until he stepped into her view, she brought her eyes to his then, "don't lie to me." she said after a moment, her lightly accented voice daring to crack, "love me enough to stop lying to me."
TAGGED gabriel van buren.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC stan walker, halo.
OUTFIT here.
CREDIT erin's template.
NOTES sad panda.
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Mar 21, 2011 14:23:30 GMT -8
---Gabriel stifled a yawn, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the too heavy praise he received from his long-time manager. his mind, as it always was lately, was a thousand miles away. or rather, more specifically, about eight miles away in his apartment where he knew nai was, maybe ten if she were at his cousins helping with the babysitting amalia was more often then not doing with the rather sudden and mysterious disappearance her best friend had made. he heard talia clear her through and he looked up from the paperclips on her desk to the woman's barely aging face, "distracted?" she didn't give a moments pause to answer, "i told you two it would happen..." talia pulled her glasses off, "i lost her, i need you focused, gabriel." gabriel looked away, sighing, before he shook his head, "i'm sorry, really. it's just... there's been a lot going on, i'm hardly home and... i just need a break? just... a week, before i have to leave for that shoot with-"
[/i] he broke off there, his stomach had a funny way of reaction to jes' name and anything related to her since the morning he'd woken up in her bed, hung-over as anything with hardly a stitch of his memory intact. it was more then obvious what had gone on but somehow being unable to remember it made it all the worse. "i'll see what i can do for you." talia finally spoke after a moment of scrutinizing his face, "after all, i need pretty, not sleepy. go take a nap or something..." she waved her hand at the door, a flippant and short dismissal, and it felt sort of like he'd just gotten a detention. going home was worse though, he knew it was going to be, because going home brought the talk with na'ima they'd been putting off for.. well, pretty much over a month now. he stood on the sidewalk now, looking at the busy street in front of him and he wondered if he stepped out in front of a slowing car if the few days in the hospital were worth it to put off this moment longer? for fuck's sake, it was na'ima! it's not like he was dating elena still or even leiya, both girls would certainly kill him if he admitted to cheating, would've killed him that morning, not swallowed his patchy story. na'ima... na'ima ignored it all, kissed him on the cheek, patted his shoulder and suggested he take a shower while she cooked something for him. which had somehow made him feel worse then she'd lost her mind on him, yelled at him called him every insult she could think of. what would she do today? would she somehow tap into that more aggressive side leiya and amalia were trying to instil in her? or would she keep on the way she was now? give him a nod and walk away from him, take an afternoon for herself and come back that night or the next day like nothing had happened? would she slap him? dump him? throw his ring in his face? cry? if she cried... the possibilities made him sick, made him want to lose his breakfast all over the backseat of the cab, he pinched the bridge of his nose and stared out of the dingy window, his stomach clenching. he shut his gold flecked eyes and leaned his head back, focusing on the rush of the traffic around him, the faint foreign music coming from the front seat of the cab and tried to think positive. he'd apologize to her up one side and down the other, promise that he'd never speak to jess again, until the shoot, because that was business and she'd understand. she'd give him the cold shoulder for a few days, make him go back to his mother's house for a week even, but she'd come around, she'd forgive him. not likely. he pushed a fifty through the window to the cabby, waving away the chain and heading up the stairs to the apartment he shared with nai, hands showed deep into his pockets and he stood outside the door of their apartment for a minute. a moment longer and he unlocks the door, dropping his bag down at the door, his eyes falling on her blonde hair shining in the filtered sun coming in through the large window in their tiny living room. dumping his keys in the little bowl she left on an end table he shook out his curly hair before he shrugged off his jacket and headed towards her. the nerves built as he walked towards her, she didn't' acknowledge his presence and he knew their wasn't any more putting it off. he'd tried to act normal, kissed her cheek, "babe," no answer. not even a flinch, he kissed the other, still nothing. he stepped away from the back of the couch, and stood their for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose again, before he came around the side of the couch, standing directly in her line of sight, her vivid blue eyes flashing to his in no time. the emotions in her eyes... it shrunk him again, felt like nothing more then the size of a dust mote. "i never lied.. i just..." never told her everything, let her stay in her false ignorance, "ask me. ask me and i won't lie to you." he told her, holding her gaze.
TAGGED na'ima.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC katy perry, teenage dream.
OUTFIT i'll get to this, honest.
CREDIT stealing stuff from you, nbd.
NOTES so much for mini...
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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Mar 21, 2011 16:07:13 GMT -8
---Nai hated what she'd become, how she'd let herself become this stupid girlfriend who let her boyfriend cheat on her - even once - and just pretend it had never happened. she may have always been soft spoken, let things roll of her shoulders but she'd never thought she could be... well, this weak. she never thought she could be like this, not in a million years. it was simply pathetic. she hated herself for it, hated him for even putting her in the position to be such an idiot. in fact it was probably what made her the most mad, sure, she was beyond pissed off that he'd been able to cheat on her, to just... act like what they had was nothing. but letting him make her feel this way, to be this dumb and simple? it was even worse. much worse. her mother taught her more self-respect then this. could she really put her love for him over her dignity and love for herself? she wanted to slap herself, or go to leiy and ask her to beat her up, to slap her for being such a stupid woman. for acting in such a way in the past that maybe it had made gabriel think it was even okay to cheat on her.
---Na'ima felt her anger spike as his lips brushed her cheek, an anger she wasn't used too, she tried not to shake as he brought his skin to hers again, she felt the urge to cry build in her and she hated herself further for being so weak. this was such bullshit. she stared at him for a moment before she finally spoke, hating how much effort it took to keep her voice from wavering, to keep her chin up. seconds felt like hours before he spoke and she almost stood and slapped him then and there, her eyes narrowed, the soft blue of her eyes turning hard like ice and she felt sick, had she really let him think that it was okay to treat her this way? her resolve faltered and she felt a hot tear slide down her cheek, she wiped it away quickly. she should've made him admit, pushed him and made him tell her directly. after a moment she squared her shoulders, sat up a little straighter, flipping her hair over her shoulder she tried to draw on the strength she imagine leiya would have in this moment if nai's best friend was stupid enough to cheat on her, "did you sleep with her?" she finally asked, her voice stronger then she thought it would be. she waited for him to say yes, to finally, truly confirm what they both knew had happened, it felt like years and she wanted to look away from his guilty eyes, stick her fingers in her ears and pretend that this wasn't really happening but she knew she couldn't keep her head in the sand any longer.
TAGGED gabriel van buren.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC black veil brides, the morticians daughter.
OUTFIT here.
CREDIT erin's template.
NOTES this is mini!
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Mar 29, 2011 10:18:54 GMT -8
 ---There was a challenge in her eyes, she was daring him to lie to her, to pull his gaze from hers to find another excuse to put this off. he knew he couldn't, he loved her, he loved her so much more then she realized. it was of course arguable considering he had cheated on her, he was more sorry then you could imagine, and not sorry because he'd been caught but sorry because he had done it, because he'd betrayed her, broken her trust, because he loved her and he shouldn't have done it. if she didn't' forgive him he would understand. if she broke up with him she'd let her leave, he'd give her the apartment crash on zeek's couch - that is, if zeek's loyalty to gabe won out over the hero complex and his protective nature over nai since every girl in ezekiel's life somehow became another little sister to him. he shivered a little against the chill in the room, a phantom chill really, it came directly from her. disdain hardening her eyes, body stiffening ever so slightly as he told her he hadn't lied, as he stupidly tried to get himself out of trouble, even though he knew that it was pointless. there was nothing he could really say. a tear broke over smooth cheek, he watched the trail before her tanned hand easily rubbed it from her skin, if it were possible he now felt small at a molecular level. like she should need a microscope to even see him now. god, he was a fucker. he reached for her, his hand dropping quickly as she saw her draw back a little, and it ravaged a hole in stomach.
he saw her draw herself up a little, but the moments still passed, the air dropping degree by degree between them, when the question finally entered the air, he felt that hole in his stomach grow larger, stinging like salt had dusted the edges. he wasn't going to lie. just like he technically hadn't lied to her already, because if she'd asked him directly that morning he wouldn't have lied to her. his mouth went suddenly dry, his vocal chords seizing up on him. he was afraid to answer. he knew she knew. everyone knew he had. answering felt like he was putting the nail in their coffin, like he was ending his relationship with nai for good. he knew it was over a month ago when he'd woken up to jess' panicked face but admitting to it now? it felt so much more absolute. he didn't pull his gaze from hers, "yes." his stomach turned, regret stronger then ever inside of him, disgust swirling around him as he tried to pull his eyes from hers, but he felt frozen in her ice cold gaze. he hardly thought her capable of a look, nor would he have ever thought that it would be directed at him.
TAGGED na'ima.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC ellie goulding, the writer.
OUTFIT i'll get to this, honest.
CREDIT stealing stuff from you, nbd.
NOTES wow this took too long, i'm sorry. :c i got another day off today thoughhh
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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Mar 29, 2011 11:14:51 GMT -8
---Having it confirmed... it suddenly seemed to hurt more. she knew, she'd known all along but it was different know. it hurt more then she thought it would. she could no longer pretend that maybe it hadn't happened, that maybe the gaping holes in his story were not gaping holes, but simply just the whole truth. she couldn't try top convince herself anymore that she was being paranoid. gabriel cheated. she still wanted to reject the idea, to shake her head, to laugh, to cry, to scream. she tried to wrap her head around it, or find an out for him. of course he's slept with her, they'd been together for a long time, jess was his first love, of course they'd slept together. that was a silly question to ask, he'd slept with her a lot of times before him and nai had gotten together. she was disgusting, more disgusting than him, she was still trying to pretend nothing happened, find something, anything to let him off the hook, she knew she couldn't. she finally released his gaze, eyes shutting, her hand coming to her lips, and she turned her head away trying to make her mind slow down, to just accept that he'd ripped her heart out. she had to try and accept that this was real life, that he had honestly just thrown away anything and everything they'd ever had. should she have done this ages ago? yes, totally. she'd loved him too much, loved what they had too much to imagine it ending.
---Nai opened her eyes, catching his gaze again, saltwater stinging her eyes, "say it." she demanded in a shaky voice, "actually say it!" her voice cracking as silver tears fell over her cheeks, she didn't try to wipe them away as she stared at him hard, he had to say it, she had to stop trying to convince herself that this was okay, that this hadn't happened, he needed to say it. she didn't care how much it hurt him, or how much it was hurting him, he had to admit it, he had to clear up any last doubt, convince every juror.
TAGGED gabriel van buren.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC d.r.u.g.s .. the hangman.
OUTFIT here.
CREDIT erin's template.
NOTES it's fine, love. c:
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Mar 30, 2011 1:26:48 GMT -8
---Gabe saw the water pooling in her eyes, and there he was, feeling even worse. could you feel any worse? honestly? could you get any lower then he was now? apparently, apparently you could. he really could throw himself in front of a cab or a bus now, gladly jump off the space needle if he thought it'd undo some of the hurt he was causing her. he'd promised he'd never hurt her, never cheat on her or lie to her, they'd said they wouldn't keep secrets from each other. yet... yet he'd doubted her when she had the miscarriage, thought she hidden the pregnancy from him. he'd done everything he could to try and cheer her up, really cheer her up, to try and get her to stop faking happy and actually being happy in those weeks after, he'd been unable to and then he cheated on her like, what? less then three weeks after it happened? kicked her while she was down and gone against everything he'd ever told her. gone against everything he had believed in. he wanted to jump on leiya's suspiciousness, wanted to have something to blame it on, she didn't think it was likely he drank that much but she hadn't been there that night. he'd lost track of the bottles of whine and tumblers of whiskey he'd had, there was nothing but the alcohol and his stupidity to blame it on. as the tears finally spilled over and her words hit the air, he couldn't pull himself from her betrayed gaze, he knew what she needed to hear and he couldn't find the words, he couldn't find the balls to say the words, more specifically.
"i slept with jess last month." he said at length, wanting to gag on the words really, "i... i cheated on you with jess." he fully admitted, cowardice winning he pulled his eyes from the gaze she had him locked in and he sat down on the coffee table in front of her, head in his hands. that was it. he knew it was over. he wouldn't forgive him if he was her, he probably wouldn't be able to forgive her tables turned. sleeping with jess was the single most biggest mistake of his life. he shouldn't have gone out to dinner with her, he should've agreed to a lunch, a coffee, a fucking skype, then gone out to dinner with her and nai he'd known what he was doing, he'd wanted some time just him and jess, he wanted the time to sort his feelings, he didn't want nai seeing something there, or thinking she'd seen something, that wouldn't have done. it had never been his intention to sleep with jess, but he'd kept drinking, kept letting his control slip further and further from his fingers, he'd kept letting the conversation turn flirtier and flirtier, he'd held her hand across the table more then a few times. his thoughts had been less then innocent from the moment that dinner started. "baby... i'm so sorry." he said, looking up at her for a moment, his own eyes beginning to sting before he looked down again.
TAGGED na'ima.
STATUS complete.
MUSIC katy perry, firework.
OUTFIT i'll get to this, honest.
CREDIT stealing stuff from you, nbd.
NOTES i can't even take this right now. :c
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