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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Aug 26, 2010 22:16:31 GMT -8
 the blonde rolled over with a tiny groan, looking over at the bare back and unruly bed head of her sleeping husband, a word she'd already traded fiancé for even though they were about two months away from their wedding. she frowned a little at his face, it looked creased with the same worry it had held when they'd fallen asleep the night before after she'd a great length of time in the bathroom trying to empty her already empty, raging stomach. when she'd finally crawled back into bed and his waiting arms he'd demanded they go to the urgent care, which she understood his concern, this had pretty much come out of nowhere, she'd gotten a little sick about a month ago and now there was this. the first had passed and this had started out pretty tame. after much protest she'd finally got him to compromise with her - if she wasn't feeling better in the morning or it got worse that night she would let him take her to urgent care. understandably she'd played down the twisting in her stomach and the flaring pains in her back. even at three in the morning when there were next to no people urgent care was not at all appealing to her. as she lay there now, she did feel a little better, her back was still killing her, in fact it was what had woken her up an hour before her alarm she still had set to five, because she enjoyed getting up early. running on less then two hours of sleep with her aching back was going to suck but she just had to suck it up. running her fingers through gabe's hair, she kissed his shoulder before she pulled herself out of their bed, flinching as the move caused a pain in her stomach. that was no fun. she rested a hand on her stomach, sitting back on the bed for a minute before she pushed a breath through her lips and standing slower this time, the pain still present in her back as she walked across their modest sized room and to the bathroom they now shared. the room she'd had when they were just roommates had since become the guest room and the place where the dogs liked to sleep, half the time up on the bed which was now looking a little worse for wear with two great danes jumping up and down on it all the time. still the blonde always smiled a little every time she went in there to get a shirt or something she'd left in her old closet and saw the enormous dogs curled up on the low slung twin bed.
stepping into the tiny bathroom na'ima pulled in a sharp breath as the pain in her stomach flared up again, she bit down on her lower lip letting out a whimper as she held tight to the sink. she felt tears sting her eyes and she blinked them away quickly, she took a steadying breath before she pulled off the creme coloured dress shirt that belonged to gabriel and pulled off the boxers that also belonged to gabriel. nai turned the water on to the shower, flinching a little as the water was hotter then she expected, though it didn't feel like anything compared to the pain in her back and the stomach cramps she'd had since the night before. stifling a yawn she tried to ignore the pain in her back as she stood under the hot water hoping it'd help soothe some of the pain. it seemed like too much to hope for as the ache in her back didn't subside, it didn't worsen which she figured she should've been grateful for but she would've much preferred to lose the pain altogether. she wasn't exactly a lightweight when it came to pain, she'd been a tom boy when she was younger, she'd easily learned how to roll with the punches but as she'd grown older she'd found less use of trying to swallow and pretend it wasn't that bad. this was pain was enough it made her want to cry really, she may not have been of those girls who were morally opposed to crying or showing any sort of weakness kind of like gabriel's best friend thursday, but she definitely didn't enjoy crying and when she could she liked to avoid it. right now though it seemed that her body was going to disobey any way it could by pulling another cramp through her stomach, more forceful then the ones before and letting tears escape her eyes and mix with the arm water from the shower. she leaned against the wall of the shower her breath picking up pace, trying to figure out a way to make the pain go away quicker as she squeezed her eyes tight. it was a second of relief for na'ima only a second before her stomach felt like it was ripping again, she tilted her head forward against the still cool tile and forced a long breath out, her eyes finally coming open as she looked down into the rust coloured water around her feet. na'ima blinked once and then twice, like she wasn't sure she was seeing the rusty spirals in the water before she saw the bright red trailing down along her foot making more spirals in the water, she let her gaze trail up her own leg, following the red rivulets and feeling panic rise in her angry stomach.
this did not make sense. this didn't make sense at all. she touched the thick liquid and rolled it between her fingers like maybe she was still dreaming, like she was having nightmare thanks to gabriel's ridiculous obsession with all things gore, she followed the blood about half way up her thigh until another cramp doubled her over, her hands shooting out to steady herself and blood staining the tile where she beat her hand against the back wall of the shower, "gabe!" she yelled, hitting harder on the tile something that might of hurt if her focus wasn't on the ripping in her stomach, "gabriel, please!" she yelled trying to hit harder hoping that he was sleeping lighter then normal, she squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering a little as the pain spiked and she let herself fall into the tile wall and slide down it, feeling sobs rise up into her, before she looked up as the glass door swung open, "something is really, really wrong." she said, shutting her eyes again and tilting her head back as another pain hit her, "i need help..." she pushed between her teeth, feeling dizzy even though she was sitting, and after a second gabe disappeared and she stared at the empty spot for a moment until another cramp hit and the rest of the room went with him.
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this post here is dedicated to garbiel a.k.a katiekinsss. and it's complete. pretty much i've got about not mini things to say to you. na'ima is looking fierce in nothing at all. this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to the script from their addictive song; breakeven, but right now i'm rocking out to shutter island. oh, i can't forget to say; killing me alreadyyy. and idk how it got so long, really i was trying to be good. [/sub] [/justify][/color] |
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Aug 28, 2010 0:30:17 GMT -8
 - - - - - it had been a long week, not that most weeks didn't feel like long weeks to him, their was a ton of travel and meetings for him most of the time, it was rare lately that he got anytime with nai. this week was extra stressful because their was a heavy worry weighing in the back of his mind - nai was sick. really, really sick and they both had no clue why. he felt fine, all of their friends hadn't come down with anything lately. it was literally one of those come-out-of-nowhere things. which might not have been such a worry if it weren't so violent and she were more willing to take a trip to the urgent care as he'd demanded on more then one occasion. she was worse then a child getting her to the doctor in the first place and the always crowded urgent care was that much worse to get her to go to. he really didn't get how she could do this whole just suffer through it thing, maybe he was the little kid since if he were he wouldn't have been able to do it all. the first day of throwing up almost everything he hate and more recently the cramps she'd been having... yeah, she'd been pretty miserable and he definitely felt for her and it seemed that the worse she got the even less willing she'd been to head to the doctor. even though he'd finally gotten a compromise out of her, he was almost beyond sure it wasn't actually going to happen. the reluctance to which she agreed... he'd gotten home the day before late afternoon to her waiting for him at sea-tac looking beautiful but tired and obviously under the weather, he could tell that it had kept her up that night and he learned last night just how late as they'd stayed up most of the night curled up in their bed watching movies as she'd had to bolt to the bathroom more then a few times, or turned her face into his chest as she gritted her teeth against a pain across her already aching back. he'd tried giving her a massage at one point, but that had been interrupted by a need to empty her stomach again. something he didn't understand as she'd been unable to eat anything at all, without expelling it in less then five minutes. each time he tried to follow her, to hold back her hair, or rub her back but she turned him away at the bathroom door slamming it shut and leaving him to either wait at the door while she moaned and cried over the toilet, brushed her teeth and headed back out to his waiting arms. when she'd finally fallen asleep he'd stayed up a little while longer watching her sleep in his arms and pushing back the blonde hair from her face until he had finally drifted off to sleep too.
- - - - - he felt the bed shift a little not that long after he'd fallen asleep himself, he felt her lips pressing against the skin of his back and he smiled a little before he drifted easily back to sleep. nai worked like an alarm clock, he didn't know how she managed to get up so early every morning, no matter how little sleep she got but it was a trait he'd admired and was really jealous of. it would be about an hour or so before he'd drag himself out of bed, normally once he'd heard the shower water stop running, or maybe her clambering around in the kitchen - food was always a sure fire way to get him up. though the same could be said for most people. he had slipped easily back into sleep but instead of the fitful one his worry had brought on, it felt a little deeper this time, like maybe he'd spend the whole day sleeping kind of thing and he settled deeper under the covers hoping to block out the world a little, it had been too long since he'd gotten a decent nights sleep and he wouldn't mind getting a day of sleep though he'd really hated spending half his day sleeping like most people he knew saw no problem in doing. that was just too lazy to him. he was drifting quickly into one of his dead to the world, coma-like sleeps when he thought he heard a pounding against the wall, it was faint and far away to his muffled ears and easy to ignore until it picked up pace a little and his name pushed through the quickly descending sleep. nai! he yelled back, shocked how quickly he'd been able to wake up and throw himself out of the bed, he felt the adrenaline pumping through him making him feel like he'd just sleep for three days straight versus the mottled hour and half maybe. he pushed the bathroom door open before he crossed the few steps to the shower in no time pulling back the door and seeing her on the bottom of the shower and the only thing that really registered was blood. what the fuck had happened that she was bleeding? and there was just so much of it... he didn't bother to answer her and he shut off the water to the shower. as he ran back to their bedroom grabbing at the cell phones on the dresser getting not caring whose it was before he dialed 911, getting beyond frustrated with their questions. i don't fucking know, she's been sick and now she's in the bottom of our shower and fucking bleeding, i don't know from where or why but there is something wrong, fucking send someone.
- - - - - after a frustrating few more minutes and an agonizing ten minute wait which he used to throw a long t shirt of his on na'ima who had passed out from the pain or the blood loss, which was still confusing him, she should not have been bleeding there. not that hard and not this bad. he'd tried to stay pretty oblivious of her period, other then when he needed to get her something to make the cramps go away but they'd never been this bad, never made her sick and he was sure as fuck that much blood had never come from her. once they'd reached the hospital there was a flurry of activity he was discluded from despite his many attempts to explain that he was her husband, which they'd shot down, and even when he'd told them they were engaged and he was the only person he had here. after about an hour he'd finally gotten some information from a aged doctor who'd scolded the nursing staff for keeping the information from him and it had shocked him. "you didn't know?" the woman had asked and gabriel shook his head, "she should be awake soon, go on in." he'd nodded, going towards the room she had pointed at, and nai was laying out in the bed, sleeping, breathing steadily and he looked at the machines and flinched at the needles in her hand, hopefully pumping her up with whatever vitamins and junk she'd needed, probably some antibiotics in there too. as the doctor had predicted he hadn't been in there long when he'd heard her little whimper and he looked up to see her eyes opening a little, obviously groggy. baby, it's alright. he said seeing the shock and puzzlement trail over her beautiful features, everything is fine now, he said pulling her hand into his and standing, looking down at her before he leaned down and kissed her, resting a hand on her forehead for a minute before he cupped her cheek, honey, you- he stopped for a second dropping his gaze down to where her stomach was under the blanket before looking back up to her, babe, you were pregnant. he said, his own stomach twisting a little around the "were" of the statement.
tagged, na'ima van buren - lizzie bee!
words, 1335
wearing, a white tee and pyjama bottoms.
credits, banner by you!
lyrics, sam sparro, black and gold.
listening, the pretty reckless.
notes, ikr? you should just give up lizzie, we never do anything short for themmm. |
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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Aug 28, 2010 19:19:59 GMT -8
na'ima wasn't exactly the most stubborn person in the world, but she had a few things she really held tight to - not going to the doctor was one of these. there was nothing more that she hated, really. it was an aversion that she'd never really gotten over as a child, mostly because she was a fairly healthy kid, and the only time she'd ever had to go to a doctor was when she was practically dying and there were a bunch of uncomfortable things done to her, prodded with needles and just yuck. her aversion of doctors would've sucked if she had a weak immune system, but it had always been strong, most of her friends could get sick and she'd have a sniffle or maybe a day or two of feeling off before she was back running around, climbing trees and just generally finding herself in all sorts of mischief with her friends - a crazy, hyper group of guys of which her and her best friend were the only girls who could keep up with. which had led to plenty of rumours about the girls sleeping with more then a couple of the guys, ever more profane suggestions that she'd tried to forget about. though nai couldn't claim total innocence she had lost her virginity to nya's brother, something they'd kept from the nya and generally just to themselves, not because it had been bad, but just to avoid the general discomfort that knowledge could lay over the group. plus how weird would it be to tell your best friend that you'd slept with their brother, multiple times. no. that was probably the only downside to a close relationship with the guys like that, however there were more positives then negatives, such as learning to suck things up. those back pains and the sporadic stomach cramps were hard top suck up, but she'd been able to keep most of it under wraps. sort of. it was a pain when you had a pretty observant boyfriend and a pretty horrible inability to lie to him. she hadn't imagined things getting this bad, sure, she didn't know what was wrong but curled up in shower crying, yeah, definitely not expected.
na'ima was only vaguely aware of what was happening around her, she hadn't stayed out entirely, she could hear gabe's raised voice talking to someone she could only assume had to be an ambulance and there was another pain in her stomach which lasted about until gabe had come back in the room helping her into a shirt. she'd sat into his arms until he'd left to get the door as she heard sirens and he was back with someone who helped pull her up, flinching as the moves strained her back and then it was harder to stay quite as she quit biting back most of the pain, and she half screamed as another pain doubled her over, the tears falling freely down her cheeks now, making her protests as one of the paramedics tried to push her gently back down on the stretcher. the last thing she wanted to do was be quite or lay back down, the groaning or screaming or rying to fold over didn't do anything for the raging pains but it still hadn't stopped her from trying during her in and out on the ride in the ambulance to the hospital, and then the activity got a little too overwhelming and she kept falling back into the pain, trying to figure out some way to make it fade even a little.. and then it finally did. this time she was really out, the bright lights over her head and faces crouched over her own and gabe's panicked voice all kind of faded.
the blonde wasn't sure how long she was out this time but all she knew was that the pain was finally gone, her back still felt a little odd and there was a weird sense of being empty but she didn't hurt and that was... glorious. after all the pain she'd been it that was just better then sex. a comparison that she'd keep from gabriel. she wasn't sure where she was, she knew it wasn't home, this bed was completely uncomfortable and she wanted to shift her position but the action put a little tering pain through her hand, she felt warmth and pressure against the other. she let her blue eyes open and trail a little confused over the sterile white ceiling above her, she heard gabriel's voice an she turned her head to see him, looking a little less worried, s couple other emotions creeping around his face that she couldn't quite identify as he leaned down to brush his lips over hers, too much confusion still in her to react quick enough. "what happened? what was wrong?" she croaked, her throat a little sore from her yelling when her stomach was killing her. she pulled her eyebrows together as he stumbled over his words and when he finally spoke she felt another crach on confusion and she shook her head, "no, no" there was some panic in her now, "i can't be, i just had... and.. and no, i can't be..." she'd had a couple months back when her period was a week late but that was a seven day fright. "i've been taking my pill this whole time... and drinking... and crazy exercise... i...no - i can't be...." she said panicking more and hearing the heart monitor react accordingly, "gabriel, i can't be."
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this post here is dedicated to garbiel a.k.a katiekinsss. and it's complete. pretty much i've got about 928 things to say to you. na'ima is looking fierce in a hospital gown? this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to the script from their addictive song; breakeven, but right now i'm rocking out to shutter island. oh, i can't forget to say; don't even talk - your post was disgustingly unmini. :P hey, hey, hey, this is better! :) [/sub] [/justify][/color] |
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Aug 29, 2010 21:14:38 GMT -8
- - - - - gabriel worried more as she fell in and out of awareness in his arms, even more so as she struggled against the hands of the paramedics as she finally let the pain really show. he watched unsure of what to do, he didn't know he could have really let this get so bad, how he hadn't seen things being this bad. as he watched her squirm against the stretcher he could feel his own fear and worry increasing. he should've just insisted that they go earlier when there was a lot less blood and pain involved. he followed them out of their apartment, holding her hand throughout the entire ambulance ride trying to pump the people attending her for more information. information they didn't have or were just unwilling to give because they were being fucking assholes. he wasn't sure which he preferred, probably them knowing and not telling, as much as he hated being in the dark he was hoping that they what the fuck they were doing and what had pushed her this far, this fast. things got no better once they'd reached the hospital, her tears were heavier, her groans and screams louder and there were even more poeple tp push him away, to rush in and out of her room without a second glance at him and shuffle him aside. he paced the waiting room, sitting, and then getting up, sitting back down again. what couldn't have really been more then an hour and a half had felt like ages, when he'd finally managed to settle himself in a chair for longer then a minute, he bounced his knee and chewed on his nails like anyone else that was impatient for information they weren't getting. he probably could've thrown a fit, insisted that he be told what was going on and his patience was wearing. all the years of being stuck in he hospital with his mom hadn't exactly taught him the patience he needed. however with his mom he always knew what was wrong, it was rare when his mom cropped up with anything new. when her heart monitor slowed down or stopped altogether he knew what that meant, a code and paddles, and then in no time his mom was good again. this... what was going on with nai, he had no idea. couldn't even begin to guess. running a hand through his hair, he almost groaned with his impatience before he finally stood again, this time coming face to face with the doctor who had promptly explained it to him, when the word "miscarriage" fell into the air between them, he shook his head. how come nai would keep from him that she was pregnant? that she was almost three months pregnant? how long had she known? maybe she didn't know? a logical voice suggested. how could she not know? when the nausea had first started... she would've known from then until now, that had been weeks ago and while he was still concerned as the doctor explained more medical repercussions to him, he felt some betrayal and annoyance bubbling up in him.
- - - - - there would have been no reason for na'ima to keep it from him, she knew how he felt about kids, how he wanted kids, how he'd like a family as big as his own, though for now they had settled on three. it hadn't been that long ago when he'd actually explained that to her after... the im conversation hit him again, she said she'd been joking, but was she really? had she really known about it all this long? he felt his stomach knot and twist anymore, but he tried to nod along and focus on the doctors terms things like "dilation and curettage" making no sense at all to him even as the doctor further explained what it had meant. it was harder on him then you'd think, sure, he'd only been aware for the last five minutes that there was a chance he and na'ima could've been having a baby, but it still got a hold of him and still snared in there - he'd lost a child. they'd lost a child. a child she hadn't told him about, but their child. he thanked the doctor as he was finally released and allowed to go in and see her, as he walked in he tried to ignore the negative feelings that had swirled, the ones that felt betrayed she'd kept it from him. it was easier as she finally woke up and her own fear and panic mixed across her face, the protective nature inside of him welling up and mostly quashing the emotions that weren't concern for her. telling her was harder, the splay of emotions over her face, and her words.... they were just as jumbled as his thoughts had been and his eyes lifted up to the machine as the beeping intensified, that he knew from years of hospital stays with his mother, he held both her her hands, baby, you have to calm down for me, okay? he said overlapping her words, the ramblings that didn't really make sense to him and he wasn't trying to cipher he was just more worried about getting her calmed down, she didn't need to be having this kind of panic attack. seriously, just breath for me, okay, it's going to be fine, he said rubbing a hand over her cheek, shushing her lightly, before he gripped her face and made he look at him, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i know it's... but please. you have to just breath for a second... he drew his eyebrows together at her final plea, the lok on her face lost, and surprised and with her words.... you didn't know, he said barely above a whisper, impossible to hear over her heightened breathing and the heart monitor, that was steadily starting to slow as he stroked her cheek, you're not... honey, you're not... not anymore. he said, almost cautiously, her earlier rambling was starting to make sense. she was worried about damage she'd caused, now telling her that she'd lost the baby they didn't know they were having... he wasn't sure what that'd do to her. he pressed his lips to her forehead, then kissed away a tree that had fallen down her cheek, you.. you had a miscarriage. you're not pregnant, anymore. guilt surged up in him, she had been just as clueless as him, she hadn't kept the nes from him, she just hadn't known. why would he think she'd have kept something like that from him?
tagged, na'ima van buren - lizzie bee!
words, 1100
wearing, a white tee and pyjama bottoms.
credits, banner by you!
lyrics, sam sparro, black and gold.
listening, grizzly bear.
notes, oh, be quite. this is a little better right? |
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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Aug 29, 2010 22:31:34 GMT -8
na'ima could hear him talking the words were hitting her, sinking in but she was still too worked up by what he told her, there was no way she could be pregnant. she would've know right? that was something you knew, a major change that you felt. she'd been late one week, she should've taken a pregnancy test, right? even though it wasn't but a few days later and her period had shown up she should've taken one anyways, better to be safe then sorry. this made less then no sense. she wasn't ready to be pregnant, to have a baby. she really wanted to have a child, she couldn't wait to have kids with gabriel, just like she couldn't wait to be married to him. however... kids now? she'd just stopped working, she was ready to go back to school, gabriel was so busy with work it wasn't the right time. obviously today only further proved that, there had been something seriously wrong and it was connected to her pregnancy, that much was obvious. it was her fault. she'd been pretty busy too, not to mention a slew of friends twenty first birthdays and just the general drunken debauchery that had gone on at her underage friends birthday parties had her drinking a lot. too much for someone who was pregnant. the more he told her to calm down it seemed like the less she actually could. every instance of less then stellar behaviour coming back and slapping her in the face, every shot she'd taken, the tumble down the last few stairs at their apartment building last week because of her stupid heels at the time her biggest concern was getting blood on her clothes the nasty scrape across her knee and the tenderness around her ankle. whatever had happened today was her fault... na'ima tried pulling her gaze to gabe's trying to ignore the way her blood was moving too fast, she felt the hot tears trickle down her face as fear and worry surged inside of her. her breathing didn't slow very much but she could pull her eyes up at gabe's gold flecked ones now, the pain in his own eyes pushed more through her but the calm that always filled her when she was around him was stating to overpower it and she tried to hold back her tears and keep the breath she forced through her full lips to be semi-calming, she heard the monitor start to slow, the chirping less insistent and she could feel some of gabriel's tension ease. nai brought her hands to his as they rested on her face, ignoring the way the iv pulled and turned under her skin, the pain didn't really register over the craziness of her mind and trying to calm herself down. "what?" she felt the sting of tears increase in her eyes, she wanted to shake her head again at his words, it didn't make sense. no. it was wrong. she let her eyes trail over gabriel's face, trying to figure out if this was some kind fo sick joke or if the longer she stared she'd find that he'd just disperse and so would the room, they'd all fade to black and she'd find herself curled up in their room his chest pillowing her head and it would be a bad dream. she wouldn't be pregnant and things would be... right. totally right. "i-" even as he repeated it,it made no sense and it was just overwhelming. the day was too big, she couldn't go from the fuckery of this morning to finding out she had been pregnant to in less then five minutes later finding out she wasn't pregnant because she'd lost her baby.
the emotion hat pulled through her didn't make sense. she hadn't been attached at all to the baby, she hadn't even known she was pregnant. there was no knowledge at all to have made herself attached to one. no sentimental feelings whatsoever. though she still... she still felt loss and pain. it was just messed up hormones, that was the only thing that really made sense. her tears picked back up and her breathing became rapid and heavy again. guilt swirled around her now - this was her fault. she should've known, she could've stopped this. the beeping sounded again, as quick as it had been earlier and she knew that she was trying to calm down but it didn;t make sense to her, "i did this," she gasped out finally, pushing his hands from her face, "i did this, gabriel!" her head started to hurt and her tears heavily obscured her vision, "i coul- i could've stopped th-this from happening!" she shoved at his hands as he tried to touch her, "don't!" she yelled, pulling her knees up to her chest, "i did this!" she wiped at her tears, again ignoring the pain it pulled through the back of her hand from the iv. "i didn't fo anything right.. i co-" na'ima shook her head, rocking a little before she tried to wipe her tears away. this wasn't how she imagined... she didn't even know. her first pregnancy? how what her eventual trip to the emergency room would've lead to something like this? pregnancy hadn't drifted in her mind as a real possibility at all. they'd talked about kids. a lot. they really wanted them, they may not have been ready right this minute with his work and her starting university in the spring. she looked up at him, "i'm sorry," she whispered, "i-i should've known about... i should've known."
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this post here is dedicated to garbiel a.k.a katiekinsss. and it's complete. pretty much i've got about mini things to say to you. na'ima is looking fierce in nothing at all. this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to the script from their addictive song; breakeven, but right now i'm rocking out to shutter island. oh, i can't forget to say; random bursts of muse, ftw? i don't know. it just... idk twenty minutes - totally trippy. [/sub] [/justify][/color] |
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Sept 5, 2010 20:23:03 GMT -8
- - - - - gabriel could feel his own heart slowing in time with the monitor too, it might have been funny to him that he'd gotten just as worked up as she had just because she was freaking out, it wouldn't be funny until later on. later when he knew she wasn't going to have a panic attack or something, though he couldn't blame her, it was a whole fucking lot to take in. he was still trying to wrap his head around the concept of it all, the going to be a dad, then not going to be a dad, thinking that nai had kept something this big from him to learning that she hadn't even known herself, but was now near inconsolable. he saw the tears begin to form in her eyes and his stomach turned, he hated seeing her in pain, he hated seeing his bubbly, smiley, optimistic nai about to cry. she didn't get upset, it was really rare. she wasn't one of those girls like delilah who just shuddered at the thought of showing any sort of weakness, she didn't fight to keep that shit under wraps it was just her. she was always happy, always smiling, and always lifting him up no matter what. she was his rock because she didn't let the silly shit faze her, the shit that pissed him off, just rolled right off her shoulders. he'd never seen her mad, heard her yell or anything, he'd seen her cry a little after her trip home but that was it. he felt a little out of depth here, it only hurtled his emotions into a deeper state of "what the fuck do i do here" his eyes flicked nervously to the heart monitor as the beeping started to increase steadily again, her chest rising and falling rapidly and his same fears came back, he guessed if you were going to have some kind of freak out the best place to do it was in a hospital but the rapid beeping was worrying him. she seemed lost, which he didn't blame her for, he was lost. suddenly her features lit up with something and her words hit him, and then her fingers curled around the hands he had on her face and pulled them away. he sat there more then a little shocked for a second before he snapped out of it as she exploded, he was still a little frozen though, unsure of what to do as the tears fell freely down her flushed cheeks, and after a couple seconds he realized what she was saying and he shook his head, baby, you didn't know.. he tried to say reaching for her hands, and feeling more shock pulse though him as she roughly shoved his hands away and yelled at him. he knew the shocked look on his face had to be comical, he drew his eyes away from her to the door wondering if a nurse was going to come kick him out soon or see why she was freaking out, but he drew his eyes back to nai's tears quickly. he watched for a moment as it seemed to die down, when her eyes trailed up to his face, he felt himself break, he kind of wanted to cry now. this was so fucked up. of all the things to happen, of all the people t could've happened... it had to be this and it had to be her? when she spoke again her words were softer, the same notes of guilt and anguish and he shook his head, no, don't apologize... he said, moving closer to her and bringing her face in his hands again, it happens all the time nai, all the time. especially the first time. he repeated, remembering what the doctor had told him, it's really common, a lot of the time you don't even realize your pregnant, okay? just like you... he pulled her face to his kissing her fully on the lips, tilting his forehead to her he pulled his lips away from hers just barely, this is not your fault. there was nothing you could've done. he brought his lips back to hers, pulling her in for a deeper kiss, tasting the salt on her lips from her tears and feeling the dampness from her cheeks against his own. repeat to me what i said. please. he said pulling back and staring down into her eyes.
tagged, na'ima van buren - lizzie bee!
words,
wearing, a white tee and pyjama bottoms.
credits, banner by you!
lyrics, sam sparro, black and gold.
listening, camp rock 2. lol.
notes, this is probbly the most reasonable mini thread we've ever done for them lol. sorry i didn't get this up sooooooooner. |
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Post by na'ima vanderbilt. on Sept 14, 2010 22:31:01 GMT -8
"but i should have!" she yelled at him, she could feel guilty later for raising her voice, she was normally the level-headed one or as more people liked to term it, the push over. she never got angry, rarely got worked, didn't say a disparaging word to anyone - that was all you ever heard about her. it was mostly true, she didn't think she was a pushover, maybe sometimes she didn't react properly took things in stride a little too well, let things slide that she shouldn't have but she wasn't bad enough to call a pushover. she really didn't get angry though, it was very rare for her to get angry, almost unheard of. certainly none of her new friends had ever seen it. she was a chill person, she had an enlightened approach to the cattiness of the business she was no longer in, she just let people talk. it didn't matter what they said. sure, it stung, but she wasn't going to rip their hair out or start spreading more rumours about them. it was pointless. so, yelling at him now? this was new for her. this wasn't his fault. she shouldn't have been acting like a total bitch to him, but she couldn't help it, she was angry with herself and she was taking it out on the both of them. "it's my body! i should have known!" she wasn't any more forgiving as he tried to grab for her, pushing his hands away with a force she didn't know she had, she could see the hurt in his eyes mingling with shock, the guilt started to pulse up a little. she let her tears trail down her face, moving quickly and trying to take a few calming breaths as she rested her chin on her knees, shutting her eyes for a moment trying to find something to help calm her down. the loud monitors were kind of freaking her out and all her yelling would soon alert a nurse right? or maybe they were used to this kind of freak-out? she didn't know hw this worked, she wasn't even sure she should've been feeling this way. surely the women they dealt with had known been preparing for the baby, they hadn't been walking blindly unaware of the human they were forming below their lungs and heart. did she even have the right to be this upset about it all? she drug her eyes to his, apologizing to him, and as he stepped towards her she didn't pull away didn't swat his hands away as they took her tear stained face. he was trying to comfort her, the words would've made sense if she were having an open mind, they really would've but she was being difficult, she wasn't letting this guy, writing thing off to simply nature. no matter how many times they'd watched "i didn't know i was pregnant" she could never understand how a woman didn't know she was pregnant, how they could go all that time not knowing. somewhere deep the words were trying to touch her, puncture the heavy layer of guilt that had fallen over her. she moved to protest his words but his lips were on hers in a gloriously distracting movement, it was those unfair kisses that he pulled on her all the time. anytime he was losing an argument, when he thought she was being silly when she worried about not looking pretty in an outfit or when he was trying to get out of cooking dinner, they always frazzled her head. he held it for a long moment that made her question which way was up as he pulled from her and the steady beeps that had filled the room were fast paced again, for entirely different reasons now. his lips pulled back but still brushed her own as he spoke and she almost nodded her head, the words broke through the guilt and were savagely working away to eat the emotion away completely, trying to make her believe his words. he brought her back into a kiss, pressing harder against her lips and she almost moaned against the pressure before she pulled her arms around his neck wanting to bring him closer to her, completely forgetting that he was cheating. that he was trying to sway her into agreement by kissing her this way. when he pulled back she gasped a little for air, blushing at the crazy way her heart monitor was reacting, hoping that a nurse wouldn't come in now. she looked up into his intense gaze and she completely faltered, "it's not my fault," she said hollowly, but really it is she said in her mind, trying to fix him with a smile, maybe he'd stop pushing her now that she'd "admitted" it.
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this post here is dedicated to garbiel a.k.a katiekinsss. and it's complete. pretty much i've got about mini things to say to you. na'ima is looking fierce in nothing at all. this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to the script from their addictive song; breakeven, but right now i'm rocking out to shutter island. oh, i can't forget to say; ditto on both counts. corry love. [/sub] [/justify][/color] |
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Post by gabriel van buren. on Sept 20, 2010 22:07:57 GMT -8
- - - - - gabriel was almost startled as she yelled at him, it's not that he was unused to being yelled at thursday, his sister's, his mother one of them were always yelling at them for one reason or another. he wasn't used to nai's voice taking that tone or reaching that volume, his eyebrows knitted a little so much more worry was pushing through him. it was understandable, this was all a little more then overwhelming, if anything would draw out the temper he'd never seen in her, it would be this. he tried to ignore the hurt that had swirled in him as she yelled at him again, though pretty sure she wasn't necessarily yelling at him but just yelling to yell, to let it out? who knew. he was already sensing the anger turned more inward then it was towards him, or maybe he was just trying to rationalize it to himself. try to make himself feel less bad. it kind of went out the window as she pushed at him, almost making him stumble, be it because she did have some strength unlike what ezekiel and him always teased her about or he just hadn't expected there to be any force there, both were extremely likely. he felt the hurt rise up in him, he was just trying to help, to be there for her, this wasn't something she had to handle alone like she liked to. this wasn't something she shied people away from and just tried to work out in her own way. the only good thing with this was that for once she couldn't try to put his needs before own, this was entirely them. if he wanted to talk it out she had to talk it out to. though as he saw her pull into herself now, the tears moving freely down her cheeks he felt his stomach tighten, she was already closing him off. slowly he could see her thawing but this was obviously a vision of the next couple weeks, she was not going to be willing to talk this out with him, he could see it already, this was something different, this was bigger then anything they'd ever had to deal with, especially together. an apology came to her lips and she didn't resist as he pulled her into his arms but he knew this wasn't going to be good for them. he tried to ignore the nagging feeling, push it down, they could work through it. they were solid, they worked through everything that had been thrown their way, nai's resistance to reach out to her family, the complications of their once staggeringly busy schedules keeping them apart. they could make it through it. he knew they could. they just had to. he pulled her face close to his trying to convince her that she wasn't to blame, that this wasn't all that uncommon, and that it could've happened to anyone and here was where the slight tenacity she had kicked in, so he moved his lips to her. cheating. totally cheating but not caring, if it pulled this guilt from her he was more then cool with it. he let his teeth graze her lip, tugging lightly as he pulled back, seeing he'd almost had the desired effect. he felt the smirk pull over his lips as the heart monitor took on speed again, fully showing him how much he'd affected her. even with the rapidity of the beeping it wasn't enough and he pulled her lips back to his, fingers threading into her still damp hair and letting his teeth take her lip a little harder, he felt her break, the argument sway his way as she pulled her delicate arms around his neck pulling him down closer to her and his lips pressing harder to hers, another smirk almost trailed his lips. when he finally did pull back the smirk on his face was undeniable as his eyes flicked to the heart monitor for a moment, his eyes then again connecting with her clear blue eyes. her words didn't hold the conviction he was hoping for, but he'd keep making her say it, this wouldn't be the last time even if he had to cheat every time and she'd start to believe it, good, he told her brushing his lips lightly, teasingly over hers, chuckling at the quick spike on her heart monitor, he turned his face into her neck, nuzzling the skin lightly before he pressed a kiss over the smooth skin there, smirk getting heavier with each spike on her monitor, we need one of these at home. he said against her skin, nipping lightly at the skin there, before he pulled back as he heard a very distinctive cough behind them. i think i'm in trouble. he said, stepping back from here and sitting in the chair, stroking her hand until the nurse turned back around, go to sleep, baby. he said, standing to press a kiss to her forehead, and sitting back in the chair scooting it closer to her bed.
tagged, na'ima van buren - lizzie bee!
words, miniatureeeeee.
wearing, a white tee and pyjama bottoms.
credits, banner by you!
lyrics, sam sparro, black and gold.
listening, gossip girl and then castle
notes, gossip girl kept distracting me. |
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