.. kaleidoscope colours

[nahla rivera.]

leila wasn't exactly sure how delilah had dragged her to this stupid carnival, though she wasn't sure how delilah ever did a lot of the things she did. it's not that her "best friend" - the term very loosely applied - was all that conniving or convincing she just had a face it was impossible to say 'no' to. which was more of a pain in the ass then you can imagine, especially tonight while she played third wheel to the golden couple. she knew delilah had so vehemently requested her to come since aleks had skipped out on her, leila never felt more irritation towards the younger girls skittish nature then now. aleks got on her nerves to begin with, leila didn't like jumpy people, something you ran across a lot in the foster system, some kids couldn't take the shit that got thrown their way and other kids like leila just learned to cope with it, build the walls to chill out behind while shit hit the fan. yeah, she could tell aleks had been through some shit, but you moved on. leila felt like an asshole every time she got exasperated with aleks, even though she never showed either emotion, but it was just the way the brunette was. she hate weakness, hated it in herself mostly, but occasionally it trickled to other around her, especially because it was girls like aleks that got tortured the most when you tossed them in a group home, leila had never been a tormentor, because at one pint she'd been the tormented but she'd never really tried to do anything to stop the other girls when they were ganging up on a newbie or one of the weaker ones. it was safer to lay low in that case, you didn't draw attention to yourself until it was you about to get jumped and then you let them know that you weren't going to be fucked with. she saw a hand in front of her face, "lei, earth to lei!" she looked over to delilah, "sorry, what?" she said shaking her head to pull herself from her thoughts, "tilt-o-whirl, you in?" jayden now asked her, she shook her head at the couple, "oh, uh," she looked up at it, before she scrunched her nose, "do not feel like tossing it, you guys go ahead, i'll get some food or something..." she said smiling at them before delilah gave her a hug she only half returned as they parted ways. if leila had any friends it was delilah, and jayden to a certain degree, a degree that was growing a little as they started attending northanger together and he was the only person she ever bothered to talk with, half the time just ignoring when she'd been directly spoken to. it was easier that way, she wasn't exactly the type that played well with others, mostly because every time she'd ever found herself getting close to someone, she was ready to move again. she might have met delilah only a few weeks after leila had finally been adopted but she was still ready for marley to realize that leila was a bitch and she didn't want this kid around, or she was ready for something to happen and they'd have no choice but to give her back to the state. even about two years later she still wasn't the "best friend" delilah liked to call her, leila really didn't know how to do it. she enjoyed the hyper teenagers company and shit but she found being a loner was just easier... it generally just brought you a lot less drama when you faded into the scenery, which had been working pretty well for until you stumbled into another person who was looking to do the same thing and turned out to be a total prick.

leila groaned, it wasn't the first time chris had popped in her head since the day she'd upturned his coffee all over him and all her apology got was a verbal slap in the face. their im conversation popped back in her head and that she could feel a little shame over, she'd been a total bitch to him, not that he hadn't been a complete fucking knob back, but she'd kind o started it straight off, that she could get over, he could use a good taste of his own medicine. the only thing she was stuck on was when the conversation turned to personal, calling him out on his family which he promptly told her did not exist. at that point she was so worked up she didn't stop to think for once second that maybe he was being honest, maybe he wasn't spinning a tale over her. leila knew better then most people about shit like that, she may not have been stuffed into the system because her mother had died but she had known plenty of kids who had lost their family, in things like accidents or shootings. she'd seen kids come through that had lost siblings because their parents hadn't been able to make good on a deal and their dealers had taken it out on them, a practice leila was intimately aware of through the ten miserable years she'd spent with her mother, her scars tingled and leila shook her head trying to pull her head back to the carnival and away from the depressing thoughts of her early years, or the way she'd treated christian. this was meant to be fun, right? she laughed internally at that, no, this thing was cheesy. another reason for the wealthy families of hollow creek to toss around their money and show off - an opinion she'd kept mum about in front of delilah since she knew her family had a hand in throwing this cheesy carnival every year. leila wrapped a long strand of her ebony hair around her black tipped finger as she settled herself in line behind to already way over-sugared children and their lean babysitter. she let her hazel eyes flick over the crowd absently, her eyes falling on chris and she froze for a second as his gaze drew up to her, fucking fantastic. leila dropped her eyes from his quickly, turning her body slightly away from his direction casually like maybe she could pretend she hadn't been looking at him that she'd been staring up at the ferris wheel behind him.

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this post here is dedicated to chris a.k.a the fantastico aubreyyy and it's complete. pretty much i've got about a decent amount of things to say to you. leila is looking fierce in this little number here. this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to nick jonas from his super fantastic addictive song; london (foolishly), but right now i'm rocking out to nick jonas, london(foolishly). oh, i can't forget to say; love em, love em, love em.

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[chris]

<sub>stepping onto the dark pavement of the beckett charity carnival the only thing that popped into christian's mind was a very distinct question that he shared with most of the people who noticed that he was there : what the fuck was he doing here? christian wasn't a complete loner, but the carnival? it was the type of thing that you usually went to with other people...like friends, something he didn't have many if any of. after all, he couldn't bring ripley. the poor thing pouted and whimpered the entire difficult time that he tried to walk out the door. but even as he was getting dressed not once did he ask himself why he was going to the carnival. why was he? what did he have to enjoy here? nothing, that's what. so instead this how he found himself, walking slowly around the area his eyes taking in every bright and flashing light, listening in the happy laughter of everyone around him. keira would've loved something like this. the bright lights, everything flashing in front of her, she would've flipped out. the thought alone brought a small smile to chris's lips as he could vaguely picture her running about, her little girls bouncing everywhere while she tugged on theo's hand. god, he missed all of them. he missed being the older brother and everything that came with it. driving throughout the streets of hollow creek only made the feeling worse. but all in all, being in hollow creek is ten times better than being back in chicago, or out in london where they were stained everywhere. looking in different directions, christian stopped his eyes on a couple of his semi-friends from his music theory class at the university, and they waved him over for a moment for some random chatter about some things. it felt good to laugh for a moment with other people and christian reveled in the fact that he could with some people in this town who didn't think he was completely mental. he found it funny some of the things he heard about himself; that he killed his parents when he was twelve and spent the past five years in a mental institution after trial, or even the one that he was raped by his next door neighbor at seven years old. where the fuck did people get this crap from?!

christian smirked as mark made some witty comment about something that vanessa had said. shaking his head at the crude humor that he often enjoyed, and running his fingers over the back of his head. turning his head towards the side to see a flicker of dark waves, chris was a bit thrown off as the image of leila crept into his mind. there was something about her, that got to him. he'd only seen her smile once but still it stuck in his mind. it'd been brief and a lazy smile as she tried to apologize to him after flipping his coffee all over him. of course at the moment he was only really upset about the classic work that he'd just spend a lot more money than he would've on literally fifteen minutes before that event. not to mention, it was quite possibly his favorite book of all time with an exceptional inscription from a father to his son. all chris could have thought about at that moment were those words fading away just like his father had been from his memory. and yet, he couldn't help feeling bad about the way he spoke to her. it was really uncalled for especially since she was trying to apologize about what had happened. what did he expect her to do? rewind time and have entered the coffee shop a couple minutes earlier than he decided to get up and leave? that couldn't happen. and even though the book was ruined, he knew that his bitching and moaning about the situation wasn't going to make anything better. and what did he do? he tore her apart. he'd heard the things people said of her in passing about where she came from, and what else did he do? he slapped her in the face with it. like a grade a asshole. drifting out of the conversation, christian's eyes wandered around the atmosphere of the carnival and everything that came along with it. he smirked seeing a boy holding a younger girl's hand and giggling and laughing. skimming further, he saw her. leila st. james, and she was looking straight at him, but before he could make any kind of facial expression towards her she looked away. frowning slightly with eyebrows narrowed, his eyes stayed on her, as he turned his body slightly, "guys, i uhm....i gotta go, see you in class," he spoke softly, before shoving his hand in his pocket and making his way over to the food line where she stood with her back to him.

gaining way over to her, he stopped behind her a bit his eyes grazing over the back of her head, before he took a breath in, "it dried out," he spoke solemnly, his eyes burning into her back for a moment, "...in case you were wondering," he told her, his voice ringing clear with a slight hint of amusement in his tone, before clearing his throat, "i'm sorry....." he spoke for a moment, scratching his head awkwardly, "what i said to you was out of line, not to mention disrespectful." he finally took the opportunity to connect their eyes together, oddly surprised about the depth they showed him. other than what he thought, they weren't very hard to get entangled in.

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this post right here is dedicated to leila st. james aka liz ! and is an astounding amount of 1186. in my own words i'd like to say that hah, at least this is better than belle's postwell anyways, chris is chillin in this little ensemble that aubrey put together, along with everything else in this layout. currently listening to the guy who plays declan is on that nightlife show <3. lyrics in the graphic above are from the song ladder to the sun by coldplay <3333. that's all for now. ta ta!</sub>

[nahla rivera.]

her mind wandered back to the day in the coffee shop as her eyes had fallen over him talking to a group of kids she might have seen on campus, at the coffee shop she hadn't noticed him at all, she probably heard the bell when he'd come in but she'd fallen out of habit and being all paranoid and scrutinizing the fuck out of her surroundings, she hardly noticed anybody that had come into the place as she'd stared into the screen of her laptop proofreading an essay she'd spent the last three hours of her life on. schoolwork put her in a foul mood, but didn't it most people? she'd hit the last sentence and with a sigh of relief she'd shut up her laptop and shoved it into one of the large purses delilah had given to her trying to sway leila on to the side of the ridiculously large handbag, thus far it had worked. shoving the last bite of her cinnamon roll into her mouth she'd licked the icing off her fingers before she turned in a wave of her ebony hair and headed towards the door, her gaze dropping to the floor like normal as she'd pulled her sunglasses down before she hit the door and that's when she'd run into something substantial, not a stool like she had on her way in. she'd jumped back quickly and instead of being the bitch she really wanted to be she was ready with her apologies, mostly because she'd actually overturned the person's coffee, she flinched a little as the harshness of his voice had stuck with her so well, the most vivid thing of the memory, and she pulled herself back from it. sure, she'd ruined an expensive book and expensive clothes and cost him an overpriced coffee, but as she'd told him she hadn't planned it. she wasn't sitting there at her lap top letting her eyes fall on him and decided that it would be a fantastic idea to just make him spill his coffee over himself and his tattered novel. there was no trying to imagine herself in his situation, no fuck that, she was still too slighted by it all. she might have been able to had it not been for the things he'd said about her. it would've been nice to keep her adoption a secret, people looked at you funny when they knew you were adopted or a foster kid, but she'd adapted to it. the rumours that surrounded her adoption... that was something that was getting harder to handle. did people have nothing better to do then try to figure out what made her so a lonely freak and what had brought her to the st. james home? did it really matter? most people had guessed right about her parents, drug addicts, though she really couldn't speaks for her father. maybe if she'd tried a little harder to extend her circle of friends past the few people she could regularly hang out with it might have been different, the rumours would've still run rampant but maybe more people would stop treating her with the sympathy they did. of course walking around looking like a little black storm cloud didn't do much to help that either. was hearing that you'd once been a prostitute, an under aged stripper, a serial runaway or a reformed drug addict so worth not having to pretend to care about stupid shit like sales at the mall or who was dating who and how it was the end of the world when sally's daddy took away her credit card. yeah, for the most part it was. one day she'd ditch the anti-social bullshit. she already sort of had when it came to delilah who liked to think they were best friends when leila really wasn't the proper sort of best friend she maybe should've been, she'd given the girl nothing when she knew about delilah's everything, her cutting, the accident, the depression, her tumultuous relationship with her brother, her fears about giving herself to her boyfriend.... there wasn't much leila had offered the girl in return. that was just her distrustful nature, something that was certainly getting in the way more then it was protecting leila.

there was a lot of things she'd grown to be really good at blocking out. people, for example. she was excellent at ignoring people, it was what had kept her out of the hospital or a scuffle at the very least. she learned to ignore her mom and some random fucking on the couch above her head, she learned to ignore her mom completely when she was high or getting high, she learned to ignore the girls crying themselves to sleep at night in the group homes, they guys who fucked with her head while she walked down the streets, or just the general fucks society had to offer that all seemed to hone in on her. she was kind of weird, she wouldn't lie, black was the staple od her wardrobe and she constantly exuded the "back the fuck up" aura which of course drew in every creeper in a three mile radius trying to see if they could crack the "little goth girl" of course the few people she'd seen steadily, like in her last two years in hollow creek, or maybe when she lasted longer then one month in a school or city, all wanted to mess with the freak. see if they could get her to talk, or get her angry. she was a loner, she didn't get close to people, it was easier. she'd started opening up since she moved her because it did finally feel like permanence but she was still ready to throw her shit in a plastic bag at a moments notice. bottom line she could ignore people like a champ, just like she could ignore christian and she saw him walk up to her from the corner of her eye and settle behind her in line, she stared straight ahead, her eyes following the children in line ahead of her. and then he spoke, she closed her eyes trying to pull up the old talents, but for some reason she found herself turning around anyways, she didn't get this kid. didn't get why she even wanted to get him, why she'd bothered with that im conversation, why she'd found her eyes following him on campus not realizing until now how often their paths had crossed and they'd both gone on ignoring the other exactly like they'd both wanted. she hated he was two of her classes and in those classes she would find herself stealing looks from behind her glasses between notes. she narrowed her eyes a little at his apology, not to glare at him and be a bitch but to scrutinize the words like they floated in the air between them, "why?" word vomit, fantastic. "i mean, thanks?" she looked down, not quite sure if she was legitimately satisfied with the apology, she just knew she had to say it. a lot of those things became routine to her, stuff to say, actions. it would also have been a lot easier to ignore his apology if he was being more a of a prick. the prick she'd seen that day at the coffee shop or even the prick from their im. "it's not like i was exactly miss congeniality though, was i?" she bit her lip for a second, "what i said... the days of our lives thing." she scrunched her nose a little, "normally not that much of an asshole..." which wasn't exactly an apology but until she could figure out if he was fucking with her or not it was going to have to do him. "i... just sometimes... i go without thinking or anything, you know?"

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this post here is dedicated to chris a.k.a the fantastico aubreyyy and it's complete. pretty much i've got about 1312 things to say to you. leila is looking fierce in this little number here. this template was inspired by the lovely miss kaye! those lyrics up there belong to nick jonas from his addictive song; london, but right now i'm rocking out to gamer, starring my baby logan. <3. oh, i can't forget to say; uh oh, it's starting. :/

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